Resolutions & Reality

Besides the standard list of resolutions – like stop eating things bigger than my head, desist in drinking my own weight in beer nightly and be nicer to the complete jerks I have to deal with on a daily basis – I’ve compiled several sports related resolutions as well for 2006:

Resolution:
Obsessing over someone else’s salary never gets me anywhere therefore I will stop focusing on how much athletes are paid…

Reality:
…until such time that what they make eclipses my annual take-home - which for today’s pro-athlete averages about as long as it took for me to type this resolution.

Resolution:
I will boycott by thumb-on-remote any broadcast that features a sideline reporter…

Reality:
…unless she’s cute.

Resolution:
Every other column I write in 2006 will focus on a positive aspect of the world of sports...

Reality:
…and get fired from betED.com faster than you can say “Drug-crazed, ‘roid-raged, felonious-assaulting pro-athlete!”

Resolution:
I will never again write how baseball is not exciting…

Reality:
…unless I’m writing about a post-season series involving the Chicago White Sox.

Resolution:
I will do whatever it takes to see as many Pittsburgh Penguins games as possible just for a glimpse of the phenom Sidney Crosby…

Reality:
… until he becomes a Houston or Portland Penguin, ‘cause even he can’t save that team from moving.

Resolution:
I will never ever write another column about Terrell Owens…

Reality:
… until he returns to the NFL.

Resolution:
In 2006 I will become a huge luge, skeleton, biathlon and bobsledding fan…

Reality:
…and promptly forget all those whacked out sports until the next winter Olympics in 2010.

Resolution:
2006 will be the year I finally accept the fact that Roger Federer is the best tennis player I have ever seen…

Reality:
… and will still sadly find him a complete snore.

Resolution:
I will stop hogging the remote…

Reality:
... any more than my standard 23 consecutive hours each day.

Resolution:
I will try to maintain the same interest in all 2006 golf tournaments even if Tiger Woods isn’t entered…

Reality:
… but hopefully Michelle Wie will be.

Resolution:
I will start cutting the talking heads on sports broadcasts a little bit of slack.

Reality:
I just tuned in ESPN's Stuart Scott who had this as his own New Year's resolution for fans:
“When you go to the sporting events and you're watching the athletes compete as hard as they can, stop booing, OK? There's no point in booing these athletes. They've all worked hard. They've all trained hard, and let's see you get out there and do it, all right?”
Fans shouldn’t be allowed to boo? A new record for resolution breaking. A nano-second!
Stuart Scott - I’m Boo-ing ya!

Cheers - and Happy New Year!