U - S - A: Ah OK?

Being the object of everyone’s attention gets exhausting after a while. Maybe that’s why America is taking more than its fare share of shots of late.

Since time immemorial it seems the USA was the world leader in, well, just about everything. Recently the world has been catching up by leaps and bounds. The European Union is tied with America for GDP, and China and India are closing fast. American cars are being outsold everywhere. Columbia’s Shakira tops the music charts. The most anticipated movie of the year is a British film about a Kazakhstani newsman named Borat. Yup, it has been catch-up time for a while, and in many, many things America has been passed.

Even in what they used to be able to always count on: sports.

In the world of fun and games, it has been U-S-A, U-S-A, dating back a hundred years almost. Now? Not so much.

Be it any of the name games - baseball, basketball or golf - the former dominant nation is playing second fiddle or worse. The only exception is football, and that’s because the American brand of football isn’t as popular elsewhere as futbol is, what Americans call soccer.
It’s been a long spring and summer of discontent sports (and other) wise for Americans. It all began with the game an American invented, baseball. In March in San Diego Japan defeated Cuba to win the championship of the World Baseball Classic. The 3-3 American team lost one game to Mexico, another to Korea and another to Canada.

Canada!

Duke's Mike Krzyzewski and most of the top pros in the NBA took on the world in another game invented there, basketball. (Well, sort of - James Naismith was a Canadian, but his first peach basket was used in Massachusetts). Spain won the gold medal at the 2006 FIBA World Championship. The U.S. men lost to Greece.

Greece!

The world gathered in Germany to settle the question, who was best at the silly sport we know as soccer. The answer: anybody but the Americans, who failed to win a single game.All four of tennis’ majors were thrillers – but not a single American raised a single singles trophy in victory. Switzerland, France, Russia, Spain and Belgium dominated.

Belgium!

And finally there is golf. The Ryder Cup put a cap on this summer-long sporting swoon. Tiger Woods is clearly the best golfer in the world – and by a long shot. However, those American’s who follow him aren’t even close to imitating his act.

Over the weekend at the K Club in Ireland, records were falling left-rough, right-rough and never center cut. For the first time a team won all five sessions of the competition, and it wasn’t the Americans who did it. They could only manage to win 21% of their matches. In golf a Mendoza line winning percentage is more than just embarrassing, it’s pathetic. It left flabbergasted team captain Tom Lehman asking journalists if they had any answers as to why Team USA sucked so bad.

None of the wordsmiths did.

All that’s left for the poor American’s to dominate is the NFL – because no one else seems that interested in taking it up – and NASCAR. The good ‘ol Amurican boys in their multi-colored racing suits remain unchallenged on the international stage. Yup – the ‘ol red, white and blue is the force in racing cars with fenders. So, at leaset they’ve got that going for them.

Until they don’t of course. This week former Indianapolis 500 champion, Juan Pablo Montoya made his first test run at the Talladega Superspeedway.

A Columbian in NASCAR?

I hope in the South they serve tacos as well.

Say it ain’t so Juan.