Number of Things to be Thankful for

It is the annual overindulgence fest that is the Thanksgiving holiday in the US of ahem, I’ve gotta lie down and nap, so it’s time to tally the list of things to be thankful for - from the sports fan’s point of view of course. As well as the things we’re not thankful for.

Be thankful for some nameless faceless arbitrator saving sports from athletes acting Owen-ish for personal gain by declaring a player can be suspended for conduct proven a “destructive and continuing threat” to his team.

Be thankful you’re not the guy who was inspired to strip Brett Favre of the football because not only would you be facing three years probation, but you will be saddled with this on your life resume. Dishing out the charge the judge said, “Usually these kinds of antics are the province of 18- and 19-year-olds. You're 31.”

Be thankful for the NHL coming back. No, honest, I’m not kidding. You should really check it out. No? The NHL’s not registering? Let me explain. The NHL is this league focusing on something called hockey. It’s a game. It’s played on ice with this thing called a puck. Trust me; you’ll love it if you give it a chance. At least now you will.

Be thankful you are not Terrell Owens’ agent. Not only would you have to be Drew Rosenhaus, you’d have to try to explain to your almost certainly psychotic client why you made the moves you did while being the only friend he’s got.

Be thankful for the Hall of Fame keeping its doors closed to 17-time All-Star - and bane on the game of baseball - Pete Rose.

Be thankful you are not Terrell Owens’ fiancé, Felisha Terrell. Not only does she now have the man who she wants to marry home for richer or poorer (way poorer) - but also for breakfast lunch and dinner - she’s now faced with a future being introduced as Mrs. Terrell Terrell-Owens.


Be thankful Jiri Fischer is going to be okay.

Be thankful you are not Samir Saric, the Sarajevo soccer player who, unhappy with a call attacked referee Dusko Pekija. Unlike most officials however, Pekija wasn’t about to take it and knocked Saric unconscious with one punch - and out of the league.

Be thankful if your team does not face Duke this season. In the quarterfinals of the NIT Season Tip-Off they waxed Seton Hall 93-40. In what may perhaps be the No.1 understatement of 2005, Seton Hall coach Louis Orr said, "This is one of those games you just want to forget about."

Be thankful for the intelligent designer who came up with the magnificent turkey in the first place. I mean, if you want proof there is some almighty power looking over us all, look no further than the humble gobbler who clearly is made to be gobbled.

And finally, be thankful you are not Terrell Owens.